Parnasa (Livelihood)
Parnasa [-Livelihood] By the holy Rebbe'n someone once complained about parnasa – he needed parnasa. So the holy Rebbe said, “How does he have a heart – is there nothing more to worry about just over parnasa?! (*see Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, article 240: “I don't know how you have such a heart to confuse me with the vanities of this world…” see there). And he said – that bread and cucumbers is a good meal! Meaning – eat what is absolutely vital. A piece of bread with a piece of cucumber! Necessities! Nu, so what?! Over necessities one doesn't need to be involved – one doesn't need to spend so much time, so many worries – a piece of bread with a cucumber!… But nebach so it is with everything – housing, with clothing. The Rav of Tcherin (-a disciple of Rabbi Nussun, author of many Breslov books) – was such a gaon (-genius) and such a tzaddik, I heard that he lived in his house like the biggest pauper! With necessities! With great constriction! Yeah. He had good money, he was a gaon, he was the head of the court (-bais din), yeah. And he could have lived however he pleased. No! He lived in a house like a poor man, with necessities! Yeah. * I saw, HY gave me, that I have no talents, I have no talents, and HY wanted it that way, and I was not content, I had a question on HY – Why didn't you give me to be smart, then I could have accomplished something – then I could have drawn close more people. Nu, it is all nonsense! All the questions – Does a person know what gilgul (previous life) he was?! - What he must fix in the few years on this with world?!… *** R' Yisroel Karduner o.b.m. This is a great fundamental – the humility, what one does not merit by the Rebbe'n is not bisaidehr (in order)! He is humble – but there are many types of humility…. Just like truth – there are all types of truth, so it is with every trait. But by R' Yisroel r.i.p. - I saw such – to be an oavaid (server of) Hashem – and to be such an “efess” (zero), such an “ain” (nothing), such an “efess” - “gornisht” (absolutely nothing)! How can such a thing exist in the world?! How can it be?! This is only in the power of the holy Rebbe'n! (*see Likutay Halachos, Yoreh Daya, Laws of Orla, 5:7). The power of the holy Rebbe'ns toaroas (holy teachings) is such – that one runs away from the vanities of this world! (*see Likutay Moharan, Torah 157). What is “gadlus” (haughtiness)? One has pleasure that another holds from him – he has a name (-reputation) in the world!… And he was so pure from this, just like the holy Rebbe said, that it is necessary to purify the body like a pelt – a pelt has such an odor of a carcass, but it is worked upon so much – that it even has a good smell! In this way the holy Rebbe desired that we purify the body! (*see Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, article 234). Nu, does anyone think about this?! I saw one person, seventy years ago I saw one person - - I have seen other Breslover chassidim – a merchant, a Breslover chussid, he believes in the holy Rebbe'n, however – this world is also a world…. By him (R' Yisroel) it was - - he had purified the body – such! He did not give the body any delights - - “bread” with a little “tea,” without sugar…. (Someone asks: Mamash (really) that is the way he ate all the meals? How is it possible to live with this, three times a day bread and water?!) I saw this! I was with him five years, I was with him regularly together, regularly – in the house and in the field, I did not leave him – I saw everything! That is “sheemush” (-attending to a Sage, which is considered more important than actually learning Torah from him), in “sheemush” there is also all levels – when one comes around once a month, this is also considered sheemush – this is also considered a disciple! However, it depends on what one wants to receive! I went (Hebrew: preoccupied/consumed/desired in) all my life; when will I [also] merit to say Likutay Tefilos like that?! When will I merit to such light like he saw [Hebrew: merited]?! I was standing once by Rabbi Shimon's (Bar Yochai) tzion (tomb) – what can I tell you! He was standing in a pond of water! In a pond of water! One who doesn't know me may say, “this is not – it is a lie, he is a liar, he tells over such things which are impossible to be in the world!” Yeah, I saw this! Whoever wants to accept it will accept it, whoever doesn't, won't – what can I do?! I saw this!… I stood here, and he was standing here – on the side, and I saw this, I thought to myself, “Master of the World, how can I come to this?! When?! What?! How?!” I also wished to merit to such crying before Hashem Yisburach! He cried so much before Hashem Yisburach. Why did he cry? He wanted to know (“recognize” - Hebrew and Yiddish for “knowing” someone) Hashem Yisburach! He wanted to merit to what a Jew should merit! That is the crying!…. Nu, and we know that there is such an ability – such a type of light in the world, one can be cleansed, and one must be a geebor (mighty warrior)! Nu, thank G-d – I am not bragging about his, I don't deserve anything for this. For such a thing must cost money, it must cost strength, it must cost honor, it must cost the entire… (*see Likutay Moharan, vol. 2, Torah 46 regarding the length and breadth of the impediments and obstacles that one must surmount). Yeah. Ah, ay ay ay, I saw one mentch (man – R' Yisroel Karduner), a Jew, a pauper! He worked?! He had parnasa (a livelihood)?! Had a store?! What?! - And he lived with faith and trust, without worries! With a settled mind – without confusion! He lived every second – all with hashgacha (Divine Providence) from Hashem Yisburach! * The pain that he had, through which he came to Tiberius (* as recounted elsewhere, that R' Yisroel Karduner was in Meron, when Saba started screaming to HY to send him a Breslover Chassid, and then R' Yisroel got terrible arthritic pains which did not allow him to pray or study, and eventually he understood that this was a message for him to go to Tiberius) – by him there wasn't stam (-for no reason - arbitrary) pain no! It is intentional from Hashem Yisburach, it is hashgacha (Divine Providence), it is a tikun (rectification) for him, yeah. However, he was unable to pray and learn! It was such pain, as if one takes a living person and cuts off pieces of flesh! He wasn't able to endure! And he didn't attribute this to any natural cause, he attributed it to hashgacha from Hashem Yisburach – it is for the good, and he didn't see the good, he didn't know what it was. In short, thoughts that he should travel to Tiberius entered him, perhaps it will not be so painful for him, and he will be able to pray and learn. It was grim for him, it worked out that way – HY wanted that he should come to Tiberius to Yisroel Ber'n! - I don't get tired! Every time I remember this, I renew myself! I see that such a story – there are a lot of nice stories – but such a story?! This is from the holy Rebbe'ns miracles! From the holy Rebbe'ns wonders! I was in Tiberius, I was born in Tiberius, I had heard of all the chassidus, and from Breslov I had not heard of, and did not know. And HY desired that I should come (-draw close) - - first He brought about circumstances that I should know that there is Breslov in the world, and afterwards – I prayed. So HY took R' Yisroel'n and banished him – He removed him against his will (Yiddish: with givald)! In Meron?! He had the place, one person alone, hisbodidus between the mountains! And outside of (/aside from) the tzion (tomb – of Rashbi) – his avoada (devotions) were there! Because the main thing by our people is just to hide the avoada (devotion)! Concealed, so that it should clean, stark truth, pristine, crystal truth! And besides this – concealed – just like the holy Rebbe is a secret, the holy Rebbe is concealed - - the holy Rebbe poured rivers – by R' Yisroel there was a river – but the holy Rebbe poured rivers of tears, rivers of tears! (*see the Introduction to Outpouring of the Soul, the Practices of Rabbi Nachman – an account and description of how so many tears flowed from Rabbainu's eyes etc. see there) Where does one get this?! We do not hear such of any tzaddik! That he poured rivers of tears before Hashem Yisburach – over every thread (/hairsbreadth) of Judaism – over every thread (/hairsbreadth). (*see Outpouring of the Soul there). Nu, but he merited to such a type of holy wisdom so that he knows – every soul of Israel in every generation and generation – he knows what he is missing, and what he needs, and how to help him – how to save him – how to purify him from the vanities of this world! (*See Ullim Litrufah, letter from Tuesday, Torah Portion of Yisro, 5602: And I know and truly believe, that our master, leader and rabbi knows well, in general and particular, everything that is done with all the souls in every generation, from the day G-d created man on the earth until now and until the final end, and he knows all the rectifications of each and every one, and all this knowledge are a small matter by him, for he attained Divine conception which are impossible to grasp in ones mind at all etc..) * I saw one mentch (-man – R' Yisroel) who purified himself from this world, he had a wife and children, and he was in this world – a body! Nu, he lived a life of the World To Come! Of the future! Of the world of Messiah!…. It is no wonder why I held by him, for I had searched from childhood, I searched, so HY had mercy on me, and I found out about this, and I beseeched for this, and afterwards HY took out R' Yisroel'n from Meron and brought him to Tiberius, and from the donkey – straight to me, and from me – straight into the sea (*he went with Saba to the synagogue of the disciples of the Besh”t which was partially submerged in the waters of Sea of Galilee). * Oy oy oy, and I know for myself, everyone knows for themselves, I had miracles and wonders, from the Rebbe'ns wonders – I had miracles and wonders! By the world, a sincere Jew – what (-calls for) more publicity. There was a Karliner – the Karliner (chassidim) scream by the prayers, so he screamed louder. In any event I was told that he is such – such a holy man, such. So he was by me holy of the holies, And when I saw him, I looked upon his image – on his face – for a segula, so that I would have fear of Heaven like him… I saw that without Rebbe'n – one can be a lamdan (-skilled scholar), and one can be - - it isn't it! G-d forbid – I don't say, however what one can merit through the holy Rebbe'n!… *